Feeling Motivated
September 12, 2025
It's not like a fire under my butt more like a slow kindling flame. I'm trying to hold onto it as I make progress. Taking lots of breaks too so I don't burn out. Listening to my body is key. But I'm grateful for the flame in the meantime. It feels hopeful.
It's the end of my second week and I've felt a rollercoaster of emotions. From motivation, to imposter syndrome, to remotivation again. I kept feeling like I don't belong in this major and I will never be a developer of any kind. I kept reminding myself that this is an entry level program and anyone can learn how to code!
My main struggle is math right now. But math is an integral part of programming and I want to improve so that I can be a decent developer one day. I wouldn't say I hate math, btw. I feel neutral about it. However, it is frustrating a lot of the time. I'm considering scheduling a tutor because if I can get past math, I believe I can really do this.
Our first unit is basic arithmetic, algebra and discrete math. I have no idea what went down in my last lecture, so yeah, I need to catch up.
My other classes seem okay. Not a lot of coding tbh. We learned some things in C such as printf and scan. Learned about char, int, float and double and their corresponding signs %c, %d, %ls, %f. Maybe not in that order idk 😂 I was planning to review over the weekend. Oh, we also learned how to make pseudocode and flow charts. Along with tables that spell out the process of your code. Anyway, seems like simple stuff so far.
It's nothing like CS50 where you're just thrown into a big project after one lecture. I appreciate that. It's mostly broken down into little labs and quizzes up until the midterm.
I hope I can balance my course work and studying for the midterms. I just need to survive first year, then I'll reflect and see where to go from there. I might take summer classes to lessen my future work load.
Sounds like a lot, but it's only been two weeks. I'm nervcited for what's to come and I'll try to handle it best I can. Either way, if there's a problem, I'm sure I'll come up with a solution.